#77: How to read more books for people with demanding personal lives
#77: How to read more books for people with demanding personal lives
With references to Atomic Habits, 'slow thinking' and lots more
Hello friends and curious people!
I’m trying something new today. Please bear with me, I’m in the mood to be a little bit experimental. I’ve written an extensive piece about the hacks that are working in my life, specifically for developing the habit of reading books.
⚠️ This post is not for everyone. As I was writing this, I had a specific persona in mind: myself. I wrote this as a documentation of all the things that are working (and not working!) on this aspect of my life.
You might find this equally as useful if you are anything like me, which could mean…
You have a lot of personal and professional obligations but are determined to pursue personal self-growth on top of all of it.
You are relatively healthy, mentally. You are overwhelmed, no doubt, but you can handle extra challenges, as long as they align with your personal goals.
You’re a cautious optimist. You’re aware of the realities1 of the world we’re living in, but you’re persistent in moving forward with a purpose in mind.
You’re an ordinary person, looking to do some extraordinary things in your life ranging from small wins to moderately difficult milestones.
You have the support of the people around you in your pursuit of greatness, however you’d want to define that.
Enjoy!
As a person with an incredibly demanding2 personal life, here’s how I am able to…
📚 Read more books (and actually have the mental space to absorb them!)
#1. Read only what you want to read, not what society thinks you should read.
This is important because nothing else matters if this isn’t true. You are setting yourself up for failure if the book you’re planning to read:
surprisingly bores you
was a direct result of peer pressure
was a direct result of an influencer you thought was smart
was a direct result of an algorithm recommendation (I should know better!)
isn’t actually the topic you are interested in, nor curious about
isn’t actually intellectually stimulating enough for you
Etc
Follow your innate, wild, scary, eccentric and organic curiosity. There’s less regrets there. (Even if there is, at least you know you can own it. It came from you and not from other people.)
#2. Read multiple books at the same time.
At first, I was skeptical about this. On the outside, it seems like it’s a bit unfocused and random. But when I started practicing this, everything changed. Not all books are equal, in importance, purpose and emotional labor3, and that’s okay. I’ve used this to my advantage as a reader—by designing my reading habits around this terrific insight.
Each one of the books I tend to pick up fulfills a specific need which could be any or all of the following:
(~70%) Learning: my most likely reason for picking up a book these days
e.g: Business, history, startups/innovation/tech, nonfiction writing, philosophy, psychology, social science, parenting
(~20%) Knowledge Maintenance: knowledge stagnates, if unused
e.g: Design, UX, product management, product, time management
(~10%) Entertainment: intrigue or curiosity
e.g: Fiction, poetry, science fiction, memoirs, graphic novels (once upon a time!)
If it doesn’t fall under any of the classification from above, I tend to just ignore it. I work off what I don’t want. It makes my decision-making process a lot smoother. Every once in a while though, I find exceptions to this and most recently, that’s Rob Henderson’s thought-provoking memoir, Troubled. This is typically not what I’d pick up first but I am glad I did.
#3. Quit books often, but keep them around. You’ll never know when you’ll be interested in them again.
Unlike exclusive dating, you are allowed to have options in case you get bored, which you probably will. However, there’s a reason why you bought it though so don’t get rid of it that easily. A good example of that for me is the book, The Innovators by Walter Isaacson. Admittedly, I got bored half way into it and it sat for a while in my home office shelf. Last week, I picked it up again—I was restless after putting the baby to sleep and didn’t want to watch a series or a film—and now I’ve been reading it for at least 30 minutes a day since then.
Give books a second, third, fourth chance. There’s a possibility that who you were when bought it may not have been ready to read it. Maybe you’re ready now and so is the book. This pattern is not an outlier. It is probably more common than you think. When you meet a book in the right time/phase in your life, that is when the real magic happens. You’ll forget a lot of things but not the lifelong lessons from those books.
#4. Compartmentalize and organize the titles to fit your daily schedule.
This makes it easier to distribute you mental energy. Think about all of the things you currently read, or occupy your mind. Which ones are the ones that bring you a lot of energy and which ones are the complete opposite? Tie that with your day.
In my case, my categories look like this, roughly:
“Books to read…”
during my commute to work — these tend to be the portable ones
during rare idle times
as reference to my work/career — craft-themed, ux bibles, some design titles etc
before going to bed
during free days like PTO, vacation days etc
#5. Sprinkle books around the house. In the living room and in your bedside table. Wherever you will be on your downtime.
It’s hard to be ‘in the mood’ to read especially if life is hectic. You brain would make up a ton of excuses not to pick up a book and although some of them could be legitimate (ie really tired, sick, exhausted beyond relief etc), you’ll eventually run out of them. By the time that happens, you either have two choices:
Stick with the status quo and eventually your identity will morph alongside your life’s choices. OR
Decide who you are even on days where it’s hard to be that person. For me, I’ve decided to live my life in pursuit of my intellectual curiosities. By reading almost every day, I am placing a bet on that reality4.
First, decide who you want to be. This holds at any level—as an individual, as a team, as a community, as a nation. What do you want to stand for? What are your principles and values? Who do you wish to become?
These are big questions, and many people aren’t sure where to begin—but they do know what kind of results they want: to get six-pack abs or to feel less anxious or to double their salary. That’s fine; start there and work backward from the results you want to the type of person who could get those results. Ask yourself, “Who is the type of person that could get the outcome I want?” - James Clear, Identity-Based Habits: How to Actually Stick to Your Goals This Year
This is an investment to your future ‘reading time’. You’re putting all the odds to be in your favor just by simply making books more accessible to you, at all times. Over time, it’ll actually be harder to do the opposite (‘not read’). I’m getting closer to that state.
#6. Read, listen or watch adjacent material.
I do this a lot to keep up the momentum in my head, with whatever the title that I’ve chosen to read. As a slow thinker, it takes me a while to absorb things. Speed is not my strength but rather versatility is. This was born out of a need, actually: I wanted to really understand the books I’m reading but somehow it wasn’t always enough to have just the source material. In order for me to be more effective with my learning process, I have to supplement these readings with other forms of media, from the author (or other related authors).
Learned this the hard way with Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. My background isn’t mathematics nor finance nor economics. From an author-to-reader relationship, we couldn’t be farther apart in terms of profession, or area of expertise. It wasn’t easy for me to get through that book. Luckily, I was able to—thanks to youtube5 and the many productive conversations that came out of that experience. At that time, I was also working for a big finance company. If you’ve read Black Swan, you’d understand why this is extremely relevant.
If nothing else, this hack brings in additional familiarity or perspective to the book you are reading. To me, that makes me want to read it more and immerse myself with it. Assuming #1 is true.
Other outstanding principles to consider:
Instead of jumping to the next page, or worst—book, take some time to actually think about what you’ve just read, after you’ve read it. This isn’t a race. Winning isn’t defined by the quantity of books you’ve finished. Rather, it is the wisdom you’ve personally accumulated and applied to your life through reading. This isn’t possible without the thinking bit. As a toddler parent, I don’t have a lot of time dedicated to just thinking. So I do most of it in the shower, or while doing household chores, or even during our morning walks around the neighborhood.
Find people to talk to about the topics you are reading about. If you can’t, write about it instead. Reading can be a lonely endeavor. When there’s an important lesson to be learned from the book you’ve just read, it’s natural to want to share it. Share the wisdom, it’s a generous act that does a lot of wonders to the people around you.
Setup a rewards system. In my case, as much as possible, I read before watching a series, or a movie. We’re all motivated differently. Find whatever will work for you and use that as part of a reward system for doing a hard thing everyday. Because without a doubt: consistently reading for a minimum of 30min a day IS a hard thing to commit to. Especially when there’s quite literally a million other things you’d really rather be doing.
Design a space for reading—or multiple spaces. Invest in a comfortable chair, or a sturdy bedside table, or even something as simple as a desk lamp. It doesn’t really matter what. It doesn’t even have to be that fancy. The goal is to make reading as enticing as possible through small but relevant changes to your physical spaces.
Remember why you’re doing this. Why do you want to develop the habit of reading? What are your goals? How will reading support the person you’d like to become? These are great questions to ask before jumping into this commitment. To me, this is a long game, this is the sport of a lifetime. The stronger the why is, the greater the likelihood of your success in the end. If I can pass all of what I’ve learned to my son, in a way that is meaningful and productive for him, I would consider that as a worthy ROI to this habit.
I am a strong believer in the idea of expanding our minds, our worldview, our thinking through creative & intellectual endeavors, such as reading. They say it all the time, garbage in, garbage out.
With books and the other forms of media that you feed your own mind, it works the same way. treasure in, treasure, out.
Happy reading!
Have you started a reading practice? If so, I’d love to hear about all about it.
Thanks for reading working title, hope this was useful!
Nikki
✨
If you have a spare moment, I’d love to hear your opinion on my newsletter. This will help me understand what to write about and curate better. I am also on Notes, where I post previews and premature ideas that fuel my writing streaks.
My past articles about reading:
As of March 2024, we are talking about AI taking over.. well most jobs, global wars and recessions, political instability, climate change etc etc
I’m a parent of a young and an extremely active toddler.
Another concept I’d like to explore further next time
A James Clear reference. In his bestselling book, Atomic Habits, he connected the concepts of identity and habits extremely well.
You can find some of Nassim Taleb’s talks about Black Swan (and his other notable books) on youtube. That and a few excellent analysis about it from other readers. This is one of my favorites from The Swedish Investor